The Closest I've Ever Come to Writer's Block

I don't know about this whole "Writer's Block" thing. In school, when I had a deadline, I used to procrastinate, feel like I couldn't do it, and finally, with the dreaded deadline looming, produce something. It might not have been my best work ever. I might not have felt jazzed about it. But it was something.

Well, on April 1, I started my 60k in 60Days project (60,000 word novel entirely conceived, created, edited, and self-published in 2 months--see http://www.pushingthepen.com/ for more info). I was so optimistic.

Let me start off by describing my process (a rather high-faluting way of saying what's worked for me so far--and by worked, I mean what's gotten me to the end of a novel that I felt I could pitch to agents or enter into contests). I start off with a premise (and sometimes not even that), panzer my way through the first draft (i.e. write to find out what happens and how my characters get from point a to point b--very sloppy, very messy, very fast), and usually outline somewhere in the middle of my first draft once secondary characters and sub-plots have developed so that I don't forget anything.

Before I write my second draft, I create a pitch (to focus me), a synopsis, a detailed outline, and a story bible with maps, pictures of my characters, detailed bios of my characters, notes about my world, etc. Finally, I create a second draft. I still don't worry about grammar and mechanics. I worry more about character arcs and plotting.

Finally, in the third draft (which takes forever!), I edit for grammar and style and try to use sensory descriptions and make my sentences pretty and have proper grammar. My weakness is the third draft, I think, mainly because my self-editing isn't spectacular. Even when I was an English Major, my advisor said to me, "I gave you an "A" because the writing was good but the grammar--not so much." And the irony is that I don't even see those small details--I really don't.

Anyway, so I broke with my own process for 60k in 60 Days. I felt the pressure of a deadline, and I tried to draft an outline after a small amount of brainstorming. To make a long story short, 15,000 words later, I ended up with about five different versions of the same story that just...weren't...working (insert sound of teeth grinding here). Could I have forged ahead with those earlier stories? Yeah, probably. Would they have been--I hesitate to say "bad"--not good? Yeah, probably.

So after much hand-wringing and self-defeating cognitions, I finally figured out a premise. I brought all the activities of my world to a screeching halt (aside from feeding my animals who don't care whether I'm writing or not), and I pounded out another 11,000 words on a novel I'm feeling pretty good about. Not great, mind you. I'm too supersticious to say great. I have to finish first. It has to be 60,000 words. I have to feel good about it (after the third draft).

In the end, I wrote 26,000 words in 3 days, but I was only able to keep 11,000. I never considered giving up, but I did start to sense this terrible, unscalable psychic wall. The wall has become small, more manageable, but it will stay there until the first draft is done, until I don't have a blank page and endless possibilities to deal with anymore.

Now, I have to join the real world today--run errands, pay bills, etc. But tonight...tonight, I'm going to keep working on scaling that wall.

New Harlequin Superromance Challenge!

The editors at Harlequin Superromance are hosting a new writing challenge called "A Soldier's Story: A Memorial Day Writing Challenge," and the prize is a crtitique of your full manuscript by not one, but two, Superromance editors!

A Superromane is about 75,000 words long. I've already printed out the guidelines and have several hard copy examples of what they've recently published. I feel capable of conquering voice and pacing and style for this type of category romance. My biggest challenge will be telling a story that includes a soldier. I don't have any friends or relatives in the military. I'm going to have to do some research to make the soldier character feel authentic.

My second biggest challenge will be writing a second, 60,000 word manuscript for self-publication as part of the 60k in 60 days challenge in the same time period . I'm a fast write, though. I believe in myself!

If anyone happens to stumble upon this blog, why not share what writing challenges you are currently tackling?